Ainsley's 5th birthday is in two weeks. Very exciting times in her young life. A few days ago at dinner we asked her if there was anything in particular she might life for her birthday. Thinking: scooter. But -- no. Not scooter.
She immediately replied, "Pirate underwear!"
OK. Pirate underwear.
"And it should say 'Shiver Me Timbers!' on it!"
OK. Pirate underwear reading Shiver Me Timbers. This is 2010, right? Isn't there a factory in Guangdong Province churning these out Even As I Type?
Well, yes, there is, but they are all for BOYS. Little boys who want pirate underwear for the Proper Reasons can get it No Problem. The only options for little GIRLS who want pirate underwear for the Proper Reasons (i.e. because pirates rule) are those intended for Big Girls for the Wrong Reasons (i.e. they work at a strip club called Walking The Plank). It appears that I will be purchasing yet more Tinkerbell undies (didn't she used to DO BATTLE WITH pirates? Where the hell has all this Pixie Hollow backstory come from??) and inking "Shiver Me Timbers" and an eyepatch on with a Sharpie. Happy Birthday in America, kid. Only boys can wear pirate underwear.
And oh, please, someone indulge me: What's a pirate's favorite letter?